i've been in a funk.
:(
i've written this post several different times trying to find the right way to say what i want to say.
alas, i still haven't figured it out. <--i blame my indecisiveness.
here's the most basic, striped down version:
i loved having my sister here.
it was amazing.
what wasn't amazing was her leaving.
that and receiving an email that someone thought it was utterly ridiculous that my siblings & i haven't seen each other in 15 years.
maybe i read the email in a wrongful tone.
maybe i read it exactly how it was meant.
either way, it ate me alive.
it was hard enough to put something that personal out there for yall.
just to have someone turn around and say, "it's not that hard to purchase a plane ticket."
ugh.
frankly the thought of blogging disgusted me.
and i hate that.
i just want to move forward and push it out of my mind.
i'm really hoping this blog post will be the kickstart i need.
with that being said, i'd like to say goodbye to my bloggy funk.
a yummy kid friendly st patty's recipe will be posted tomorrow :)
♥ rachel
149 comments:
Well, good grief. I can't believe someone would post so nasty about your family situation. Everyone has some unique things going on and far be it from us to judge one another. Hope you enjoyed your time together and that circumstances will make it possible for you to see each other again soon. I haven't seen my sister since last July and I sure do miss her. Hope I can make a visit this summer. We do chat online and one the phone but it isn't the same. Anyway, keep your spirits up and have a happy weekend. I really enjoy your blog!
Although I shouldn't be, I am amazed at how utterly rude some people are. I've dealt with it too, and even by people I know and thought were my friends, and it's just ridiculous. I think some people just have a lack of common courtesy and have completely forgotten the old adage, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."
I'm sorry you've been in a funk, but just remember how awesome you are!
I don't blame you for feeling crappy after such a hurtful comment. But at the same time, your family is your business. It's for no one to judge and you have nothing to explain to anyone. I live far away from all my family too so I can sympathize. I hope you leave your funk behind soon :)
*Hugs* Hopefully that person didn't mean that comment to be as snarky as it came out. Shame on them if it did. I know it's hard, but don't worry about what some person you don't even know thinks. They don't matter. I know it's difficult tho.
Take care of you. You are an amazing person...don't you forget that!
I don't pretend to be an expert. But.... I was an elected school board member for 20 years. No matter my good intentions, my efforts to be honest, and fair, my desire to do the right thing, someone took offense. I tried very, very hard to accept that that was their right. I had made myself a public figure and anyone could say anything they wanted about me. I tried to just let it roll off, look to see if there was any merit about what was said and then let it go. It still hurt but I refused to let another's viewpoint determine who I would be. My favorite tool however, was what to do with the anonymous letter. We were instructed to ignore them. If someone didn't have the strength to sign the letter, you couldn't fix whatever they were frustrated about so we were told to just throw them away. Blogging to me is a lot like those anonymous letters. People feel very free to say anything they want to. Your choice is to decided how it will affect you. I'm glad you are willing to express your feelings, this is your blog and you can do and say what you want without regard to what others say. So hit the delete and know many of us were amazed and impressed by your sharing. Thank you for doing so.
I can't believe anyone posting a negative commment about you seeing your sister...how sad they must be!
Anyway, jump start out of that funk...should I send you a box of candy?
Take care of yourself and your family!
Toni
www.lifeinapinkbunnysuit.com
I can't believe anyone posting a negative commment about you seeing your sister...how sad they must be!
Anyway, jump start out of that funk...should I send you a box of candy?
Take care of yourself and your family!
Toni
www.lifeinapinkbunnysuit.com
honestly,if I put out there what goes on in my family, or does not go on, and how I felt about it, I no doubt would cause an uproar! Families are unique, people are unique, there are things that you can not change. Period.
I have one brother, he and his family live 30 minutes from me. I see him and his family once a year.....on Christmas day. Not my choice, we are not included in their lives. It sucks, but it is just the way it is. I am sure many would not understand that, as I don't fully myself....but it is my world.
To judge someone, or suggest to someone that the life they live is not what it should be due to lack of effort as that is what they seem to be saying in between the lines is just ridiculous.
I always say....unless you walk a mile in my shoes......just brush that off, don't let it cloud your wonderful time you did have together. Shame on whomever decided they were sitting on the Judges chambers that day....maybe they should look a little closer at their own lives.
Hope your funk passes.....ice cream always helps me or a walk in the fabric store!!! :o)
I'm sorry someone did that to you. :( and I hate that it doesn't really shock me. It's amazing what people will say online that they would never have the guts to say to your face. I'm glad you got to see your sister!
I make my husband check with me before he posts things in response to someone on Facebook because while I get him and love him anyway, you can take a lot of what he says the wrong way online (less so in person, thankfully) and he doesn't realize how he sounds (because he knows what he's trying to say and how he means it).
So, I hope it'd be easier for me to give them the benefit of the doubt (after dealing with the hurt feelings because I can dwell on something like no other).
However, when I read that you hadn't seen your sister for 15 years I was incredibly sad and then excited for you. I hope I don't go that long without seeing my sister now that she's moved to Texas. I'm glad you were able to spend that time with your sister.
Luv ya Rachel :D Please don't let one uba-unhappy individual own any little part of ya. I usually feel 'the lows' when a humanoid I enjoy being around moves back to their place on this planet, with little o'me feeling left behind. One of the hardest emotional moments for me was realizing that people (even relatives) come & go in a series of minutes throughout ones' life. You have been blessed, your have a wonderful DH, super children, and now adding to this list, forever memories of the space you shared with your little sis! Smile my dear internet friend, for this Jackie is awaiting your upbeat way with the American langage & future blog stories :D
Just goes to show you that people can and do say the stupidest things at the very worst time.
The rest of us love you and are tickled that you had such an awesome time with your sister! Here's hoping for many, many more years of you and your sibling(s) having chances to make wonderful memories together!
XOXO
When my nephew and his wife bought my ticket from here in San Diego to Oklahoma for my sister and bil's 50th anniversary party, I hadn't seen her in 19 years! Yeah, it's easy to buy a plane ticket.......if you have the money. And it's easy to make the trip.........if you're not disabled. Don't let them make you feel bad. There are a lot of reasons why families can't get together. My kids live all over the country and I haven't seen some of them in quite a few years, and I might not ever see them again. Sometimes life sucks, but you deal with what you have.
xo Linda
I am sorry that happened...I have two sisters I haven't seen in over 20 years. Sometimes there are reasons out of our control- I was so happy for you when I read your original post and prayed your visit would be fun, happy and meaningful...looks and sounds like it was all that and more!
We love you girl!
To the writer of that email- use a filter the next time you comment!
Well many hugs to you Rachel. I am thrilled you and your sister got to have such a great time! What a joyful reunion it must have been!!
It's not our job to judge people, and some people just don't seem to know that!! Cheers to you for being the bigger person and a shining example of happiness to many!
Shine on, dear Rachel. You are very very loved and appreciated :)
what a jerk! screw them! i am so glad you got to spend time with your sister and i am so so sorry that she had to go back to her real life. ;) xoxoxoxo
You know what, it was very brave of you to blog your story & very childish of that person to send you a nasty email - but who was the winner when it was all said & done? I'd take being brave any day. ;]
Don't let those people get to you, I have three half brother that my father had with his second wife and I have only seen them once in my life when I was 15, I am now 51.
What a jerk! Want me to beat them up for you? As long as they're smaller than me and have no fighting experience... jk.
I appreciate that you share your life on your blog. I share mine too. That's what it's all about. Sharing what we love; what we do; who we are. Take solace in knowing that there are people out there who feel for you and empathize when you're down.
Oh My Freaking Hell! Show me one relationship that's NOT complicated. Just glad you took the time that presented itself. I hope it was amazing. I hope you cherished every second. I hope you do it again (even if it's not for another 15 years!)
God bless!
xoxo Jen
I don't see how writing that sort of e-mail could have possibly been useful. Ugh. People need to get a life and stop lurking about, criticizing others for situations they have no idea about!
Grrrrrrr. I feel for you - I got blindsided a few weeks ago, but I knew the person doing it and it's going to ache for a while. Put the knuckleheaded inconsiderate stranger out of your head. Not worth worrying over.
Glad you had an amazing visit.
It is very hard to do I know.. but you have to let in one ear and out the other. I always say have you walked in their shoes ... if not don't judge.
Rachel, forty-two people posted comments of love for you and your sister, and there were many more who thought about how wonderful your reunion with her was but didn't write a comment. Does this tilt the scales for you?
Rachel, no matter what you do, there will always be someone who doesn't agree with it. Don't let it get to you.
I agree... the rest us, who know the devasting results a nasty divorce can have on children (my husband actually had a full blown panic attack before our wedding thinking about his parents being in the same room) are so happy that you were able to reconnect with your sister, and hope this was the first of many visits to come. Don't let nastypants ruin the cherished memories you now have, and can continue to build on.
Sometimes people don't even realize how what they say can hurt another. We live 2 houses from my hubby's youngest sister but because of work schedules and other commitments we are lucky to get to see them once every 3 or 4 months! We live within 30 minutes of all of his other siblings but we haven't seen his brother in more than 5 years and we very seldom see the others unless we bump into them in the grocery store.
Make no mistake, if they need us, we are THERE and vice versa, but our lives are so busy and so are thiers. Someone already mentioned how "easy" it is to buy a plane ticket... yeah, but first you have to decide if you want your kids to eat for a month or buy that plane ticket sometimes.
I am the oldest of 8 and I rarely see any of my siblings. They are further away than hubby's sibs but it is still just as hard to coordinate days off and time to get there.
Don't let one thoughtless person get you down. Just enjoy the lovely new memories you made with your sister this visit! :)
I haven't seen one of my sisters in 12 years. The other ( along with my dad), in nearly seven. It happens. I love my sisters and we had a chance to allbe home this summer, but with hubby's. Schedule and though the tickets were "free" - we couldn't justify the expense for the, hotel, food, and car rental. Especially sine we are moving back home in a year when my hubby retires fom the military. Don't let it get you down...
I am sorry someone said something so hurtful to you. That sucks. I was so happy for your post about your sister's visit. I too seldom see my siblings as we are all scattered across the nation and can ill afford a plane ticket. We phone often, but sometimes go years without seeing each other, so I know how great you felt having her with you. You cannot control what other people say or do, you can only control yourself, so let it go and know that many of us love you and enjoy your sharing of your life. Please don't stop on account of one awful person. :)
Oh for goodness sakes, why do some people think they can say what they like and hurt other people. They should just get on with their own lives and stop meddling in others. Believe me as you get older you will just push the delete button and see them for what they are....sad, lonely people. Enjoy the time you had with your sister, don't let this upset you, grow that extra thick skin...these sort of people aren't worth wasting your time on. We haven't seen our family for two years and it's not because we don't want to, it just it hasn't happened (we live in France and all our family are in the UK) but you can bet when we do see them we will have a great time - just like you did. Hugs. Linda
I got on to make a comment about how rude someone is to say such a thing, and how it wasn't any of their business and how stupid it is for someone to rain on your parade, but I guess everyone else beat me to it, and said it much better than I ever could. Just know, I'm sorry that people are so mean. They must be a very sad person if they feel as though they have to put you down to make themselves feel better. They're not worth the paper they wrote the comment on. . .
~a
I'm so sorry someone was so mean and thoughtless to you. It never ceases to amaze me that some people have not figured out yet that sometimes they should keep their opinions to themselves! Every family situation is unique and the dynamics can be so different. Whoever they were I'm sure has their own issues.
Know that there are more of us nice people out there than the crabby ones.
well , that was uncalled for ( I'm trying to be nice ...) . It's nice you shared your sister's visit . Don't let 1 bad person ruin a great thing for you .
Ridiculous, if you don't have something nice to say...
I hope it wasn't meant in a hurtful way and I know it was tough writing about something so personal.
The most important thing is that you enjoyed the time with your sister :)
Hope the funk fades and all the positive comments are uplifting :)
Mean people suck. I think it's amazing that you got to connect with your sister after a long time. That you have a relationship that stirs such emotion -- consider yourself blessed. Don't let the haters get you down. I consider myself to have had a very average/normal/blessed childhood and never would have thought that it would be 9 years since I've seen my older brother, and 6 years since he's had any communication with me or our other two siblings. His choice, and it makes no sense. It's easy to judge until you are walking in those shoes. Blogging puts you out there, connecting with the 99% of people who think of you as a friend. Don't let the 1% slice through your defenses and hurt you.
Blessings for St. Patrick's Day!
I just don't understand people sometimes. The only thing I can think of is this person also has missed out on family due to a seperation/divorce and it is their hurt that caused them to send you such a horrid email. Regardless... Don't let what they said or did cause you a moment more of torment or funk. You got some precious time with your little sister... focus on that wonderful event, and your awesome hubby and try to forget the nastiness of this other person.
*hugs*
Two things I've learned...nobody has the right to judge your life but you...and everybody has an opinion, especially about things that don't concern them. Don't let this person get you down. It's just not worth the effort. :0)
Someone who makes a comment like that to you is likely speaking to themselves an issue on some level. Take joy from your visit with your sister (and it seems you did), for we never know what the next day brings. Take joy wherever you can in your day. If it is many years again before you see here, or three weeks from now, or perhaps the opportunity never comes again, you will treasure those moments, along with all the 'beauty' your stored up in a similar way.
Family's connected by an invisible thread...you don't have to be together, to be TOGETHER. Sorry those comments put you in a funk...so glad you're"back",AND that you had fun with your sister!
This person is probably very unhappy in their own life, & it's likely your post hit a nerve. Miserable people want everyone to be miserable with them. I'm glad you had a lovely visit with your sister.
I think for someone to leave a comment like that, they've had a very charmed family life. If only it were that easy, to just "buy a plane ticket". You are an American family, there are many just like you.
Sounds like you had a great time with your sis. What fun!
Don't let some random person get you down with their stupid judgement! My brother lives a mile down the road and I frequently don't see him for weeks! And then our mom yells at us. We all have our routines and our own "normal," so don't listen to anyone else. What works for you works for you!
Looking forward to more posts!
http://www.loganmakesamess.com/
Excuse my bad language.
Piss on people that rain on your parade.
I hope you are out of your bloggy funk.
Have a great day!
j
It's hard when we make ourselves vulnerable to be attacked by those to whom we have made ourselves vulnerable. And it is only a class "A" wimpy jerk that would take that opportunity to attack.
I for one appreciated your post. It reminded me I hadn't talked to my brother in a long time, and after I read that post, I called him.
It ain't easy, but try not to let the insensitive idiots out there ruin your day. What is important is that you had a good time with your sister. And your willingness to share was helpful to at least one of your readers. My brother and I had a good conversation that night.
Take Care, and it's good to see you back...
Paul
Honestly, what is wrong with some people??? We don't know you, well we only know what you write on your blog, but we certainly don't have the indepth knowledge of your situation necessary to make that kind of judgement. I'm glad you had a wonderful time with your sister, she's your sister no matter how long passes between you seeing each other. Please don't let this one idiot affect your view of our little community on-line, most of us aren't like that.
After reading this post, I went back to see your original post about seeing your sister. I have over 100 quilt related blogs I read through google reader so I had forgotten your post. Forget the one who made the bad comment. After rereading your original post I remembered at the time and still do ....thinking how awesome is your husband for arranging that surprise and that you enjoyed her visit and how I wish my husband would do a similar thing.
It takes all kinds...some good and some bad...........Ignore it! Love your blog...and so do many many more. So forget it and keep a smile on your face. I'm sure all these comments will boost your spirit.
Pay no attention to that person who said that to you. I was very happy to hear that you got to spend time with your sister. That person is not worth you energy.
OH my goodness, whoever said that is a bitter, unhappy person. You are great; shake that dumb person off! :)
Sorry that happened, Rachel. It's terrible that someone would take the time to say something nasty. I guess it means we should, more often, take the time to say something nice.
You have an awesome blog and you're very talented. Good work is good for the soul, and that's what you have: a good soul. Take care of yourself and shake it off, sister! Afterall, tomorrow's St. Patty's Day! :)
That's awful. Everybody has their own family quirks and circumstances. Don't let one person's lack of understanding and judgements affect you. I have 3 children, the oldest is almost 8, and my grandparents have never met them. We live about an 8 hour car ride from them and my grandparents can't travel. It's not that we haven't tried. A kid gets sick, a parent loses and then starts a new job, etc. - things happen and plans get canceled. It kills me to think that something might happen and it will be too late but all I can do is keep making plans and trying. See - I'm not that different from you. :)
Oh, Rachel, how rude and thoughtless that comment was! Please try to absorb each positive comment as much as that negative comment and you will be out of your funk in no time!
Awwww, how sad that someone would try to steal the JOY of this wonderful occasion in your life. I'm not a person who believes in blocking, or denying that something has happened, but...Delete that comment (from your mind too!) and pretend it never happened.
I, for one, enjoyed your little sharing about your sister. And I felt it was a wonderful conclusion to a long ago family separation.
HUGS to you.
Rachel, Never let people that seem to take pleasure in saying hurtful things, gain more pleasure by knowing they were successful in upsetting you. No one knows what is going on in someone elses life. I'll let you in on a little secret...my brother lives only a little over 500 miles from me, yet, we hadn't seen each other in over 12 years, since the death of my father in 1998. By pure coincidence last year, we found that my hubby and I, and my brother and wonderful SIL (who is a magnificent quilter and long arm quilter) were going to be at the Grand Canyon the same week last June. So of course we made arrangements to get together for some nice dinners and the tour of the park. Three days later we parted ways and we have no clue when we will get together again. Remember too that if our vacations hadn't 'matched up', we still wouldn't have seen each other. BUT, we email each other every day and talk on the phone often. We have no idea how we missed telling each other of our vacation plans until the day before we were leaving, it just happened, happily for us. I am 62 and my brother is 66...we should get together more often but we both realize that we have our own lives going on around us and we have to take care of that first and foremost, so there is NO guilt on either side about the lapse in visits. My dad always told us, "Never judge a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes" (it's actually and old Native American saying)...I have taken that advice to heart my entire life and it truly helps me stop and thing before I say things to people that might upset them. I refuse to judge a persons actions because I have no idea what their life is like, or what issues they may be dealing with. And really Rachel...whose business is it anyway how often we get together with our family members? It is NO ONES business but yours. So yes, yes, yes, pull yourself out of this funk and just rejoice in the time you did have together. Sorry I wrote a book here, I know I got carried away. Sending you BIG, BIG, Hugs...
I'm so sorry. I was always taught if you can't say something nice, then don't say it! You are so lucky you got to see your sister. Don't let it get to you. We all love you and just want you and yours to be happy.
Well poo on them! Why do people feel the need to post the feelings like that when they know good and well it's going to hurt their feelings. I think it is awesome that you got to reconnect with your sister, no matter how long it's been! I thought by the title of your post that it was going to be the fact that your picture shows you wearing a sweater and flip flops! Hummmm Take care Rachel!! Jenn
Thanks for sharing! I even went home and told my husband how cool it was that you finally got to see your sister... he was like, "Who are we talking about here?" Haha...
I hope this whole blog post heaps coals on the head of the one who emailed you.
I think what applies here, as stupid as it sounds, is "Haters gonna hate."
I don't know where people get off on thinking it's their place or right to criticize other people's lives on the internet. Nobody is perfect, and nobody but you and your sister and others in your close personal circles know the exact situation and reasons why you haven't seen your siblings in 15 years. Life intervenes, finances can be shaky (sometimes it *can* be that hard to get a plane ticket), and from the little you mentioned, with the divorce and remarriage of parents and siblings from these different unions, it sounds like there could have been any number of things at play that caused you to be unable to get together with your sister.
Also, you owe nobody an explanation regarding your family life. Least of all judgmental asses on the internet.
The internet can be a great place, where we can connect with so many, but it can also bring out the utter douchebag in so many too. People need to learn when to keep their trap shut.
And another thing, I'm sure most people who read your blog feel grateful that you choose to share *anything* of your personal life with us, as we like knowing the people behind our favorite designs. I'm sorry you had a bad experience with someone, but hopefully the positive outweighs that.
I can't believe someone said something - it's not their business/life first of all!
Also, as someone who has older siblings that had a different dad - we did not grow up together - 2 yrs ago was the first time 15 yrs we had managed to get all 4 of us in the same place and the same time.
Don't let them get to ya! (It's hard not to sometimes..>)
Well, that was certainly unkind! Sometimes people just suck! Hope you get the bit by the blogging bug again soon, we miss ya! Smiles~Beth
I don't comment very often - but I wanted to add my support to what everyone else has said. Please don't let one nasty comment change the way you write your blog. I have never met you or spoken to you but I love the way you write - it makes me laugh, smile, cry and groan.
Families are complicated. I live no more than 30 minutes from 3 of my siblings and my parents (divorced) but I rarely see them. I thought it was fantastic that you sister and husband planned the visit in secret. I wish I had taken the time to say so now. I'm really glad that you enjoyed seeing her and thank you for sharing something so personal with the world wide web!
As a famous man once said, "Brush dem haters off." I believe there may even be a dance to accompany the phrase.
Hope you feel better.
Isn't it amazing how the human brain especially the female brain works? One rude negative comment takes over our thought pattern while 100 encouraging comment affects us very little! My grandpa said it was not being able to see the beauty of the flowers b/c of the weeds. Rachel, start picking flowers and leave that weed to wither.
Some people just dont think before they type!! Wow!
Anyway, hope your funk dissolves into a fun weekend!
That's horrible! While I agree that it isn't that hard to purchase a plane ticket in theory so many many things go into why it couldn't have happened. Money can be tight, schedules can conflict, and so many other reasons. I'm sorry you had to deal with that and I hope you get out of your funk soon!
I don't ever comment. Just call me the gal in the back corner. My advice, move on. Some folks don't get that they are not saying something kind or helpful. (shrug) I thought it was great you shared. Bless you and your family!
It's so much easier for people to say stuff like that then to actually do it when it's their issue. It's neat that you got to see your sister! Don't let a jerk (or jerks) ruin your day, week, month! Please don't stop blogging! I love reading your stuff!
What is that saying?..."Haters are gonna Hate" Some people do not have something called empathy nor do they have the ability to realize how what they say may affect others. Remember that no one has walked in your shoes nor do they know your familial situation. Concentrate on the wonderful time you had with your sister and the memories you can carry with you! CHOOSE not to let an insensitive comment rain on those memories. This is THEIR problem, not yours! Welcome back!
I don't know why human nature seems to lean toward hurtful so much of the time. Someone could also tell me that it isn't that hard to sew my mouth up and lose 50 pounds, either...but that just sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? Would you ever really say that to anyone? However, the statement made to you was no less ridiculous or hurtful than the one I just typed. I know sometimes things just fly out of my mouth, and I wish I could take them back. As a rule, however, I try to be an encourager, mostly because I find that I need to be encouraged most of the time. I want the people around
me to feel like someone believes in them.
I think it's great that you and your sister spent some wonderful time together and that you have a sweet husband who made it happen!
Keep sharing and inspiring us!
As my 3 year old granddaughter would say "It'll be ok" and yes
you'll be ok too! I am glad to hear you had a great time with your sister and that is what you need to remember. Here's hoping you'll get to see her more often. Take care and look forward to more of your posts. Love them! (Been missin' you) Hugs !!!
Everyone has their family issues in one way or another. It doesn't matter what others think or feel or say....you do what you can and you move on. Good hearing from you today....looking forward to seeing the new recipe!
Oh gosh. I am sorry someone said something like that! Shame on them. I hope y'all had a wonderful reunion and many blessing to you and your family.
I am constantly astounded by the snarky comments left by people that don't even know you or your situation. Please brush it off...you don't need to care about what that person said. I am glad you had a great visit with your sister, and huge props to your husband. They are who matter!!!
i LOVE you Rachel and I've never met you. You brought me to quilting and I love your blog, what you say and how you say it...we say "ya'll" in Texas too!
I love your recipes and that you share so much of yourself with us. Thanks for being YOU.
Take all the wonderful comments and chuck the rest, some people just don't have a clue...
xoxo
oh and i forgot to tell you, i miss you SO much when you're gone!
{{hugs}}} this post made me so sad- I am sending hugs mingled with a few tears. I too have had some of those type of family issues- I didnt meet my brothers til I was fifteen. The important thing is that your *did* get to spend time with your sister (and sister time is the best!) not what happened in the past or what other people think. I for one, appreciate that you shared with us! It takes moxie to share personal things but it is those personal things that inspire others!(and judging from the other 75 or so comments others are too)Thank you Rachel! <3 Bobbie
You know, you should let no one be your judge and jury. If the person who made the comment had ever been in a family with non-traditional dynamics, she/he would never understand. Put on your "big girl" pants and let the funk fade away.
Rachel,
I dealt with a situation that was nothing like yours at all but when reading about yours, my thinking is the same. We should all take a page out of the book of Thumper in the movie Bambi and realize "if you don't have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all". Really.
I am so sorry for that email. I am not sure what makes us think that we get to opine on everything and anything. It is disheartening. But I hope that you never ever give into the negative of others. It is for them and them alone. And karma can be both kind and unkind.
But rather than be upset at those who think that it is okay to be negative or comment or whatever, today I am going to do my best to think before I speak and be kind in all situations.
Take care of you.
Well, there's nothing more I can add to all the wonderful advice so freely given before me and never so heartfelt as well. So, ditto to all of the above! :-) There are always underlying circumstances within situations. This blog post and these responses should be enough to convince you to put this behind you without a second thought and move forward with a free concience.
Rachel,
The people who responded to your upset, they are the individuals you need to surround yourself with. Positive women who only want the best for you and yours.
Some people, when they are unhappy just want to spread their own negative feelings to others. We all have bad days, but the difference is that when we are down we deal with it, hide in a corner, or try to make the best of it, knowing that better times are ahead.
So glad you got to spend time with your sissy! :) Please don't let someone else's negative opinion run havoc on your wonderful visit!
I have major dysfunction in my family and have received plenty of criticism b/c of it. No one understands unless they have walked in your shoes. And people who stand back and critique obviously have very lonely lives!
So get your happy face back on, blog away...cause I LOVE your blog! And push those negative thoughts to the side!
Big hugs!
:)
You're doing the right thing, getting right back on that blogging horse!
Keep up the great work! I missed you!!! xo
I haven't seen my sister in 2 years. Sometimes it's really hard to buy a plane ticket. I got a nasty email this week, too. It knocked me for a loop. Just when I think I don't care what others think of me, I prove myself wrong. Chin up, and know that most of us love you!
your comment on the post about seeing your sister, you got up off the couch and sobbed...reading the post saying someone sent you a nasty email about 15 years...that made me want to sob, sob that someone can be SO RUDE to someone else. it just amazes me what people will say. god bless your husband for getting you all together, shame on the person who makes crappy comments to others like that, SHAME SHAME! mind your own business
Each family functions in their own way. That person with the negative comments was rude and out of line. I am sorry for that. I can see why you were down. You had time with family and that is what counts. Now is the time to think positive thoughts and move forward family, friends, sewing, and blogging. You can do it. I know you can. It looks like you have lots of support as well.
Have a super great sewing, stitching, blogging, and family day!
I am really sorry that person couldn't control their tongue/fingers and keep their feelings to themselves. They don't have to read your blog and they certainly don't have to comment. It's none of their business. Life is life. It just is. Sometimes what we want to happen isn't just up to us. Sometimes you just roll with the flow or drown. I hope you have a WONDERFUL weekend and give your hubby a very special thank you peck on the cheek.
People can be cruel and judgemental for no reason at all....ussually because they themselves are unhappy and can't stand for others to be otherwise. You are awesome, don't let anyone tell you otherwise aaaannnddd can't wait to see that recipe !!!! :)
Well, everyone has already told you how they feel about rude comments, so I will just say...Sisters are the best thing since sliced breaqd! I do hope you get out of that funk soon. Try finding a pretty flower garden, or a patch of undisturbed countryside and just breath. (Made no since after I typed this, but you know what I mean).
Hey Rachel, I just started reading your blog, I'm new to quilting and love your stuff! Congrats on reconnecting with your sister, what a gift! My sister recently moved about a mile from my house and after living in different states for ten years and not having much of a relationship we have found our way back to each other! I'm so happily surprised how all that time can go by and somehow we haven't missed a beat. Wishing the same for you and your sis!
Cheers,
Amber
I've said it before, but it never stops being true . . . Mean People Suck.
Sorry about that. They're not worth the time. Moving on. Glad you're back.
Don't let the haters get you down. My brother was estranged for 30 years. We saw him every 10 or 15 years. The circumstances have changed and he is now back in the fold. We are all so blessed. I totally get you. This is way more complicated than air fare. Enjoy the new chapter with your sister.
looks like you have a lotta loving supportive friends:) hope that can make up for the meanie. give yourself time to let the hurts heal. keep up the awesome work here on this blog
Seriously, you are awesome, keep your chin up. My family is all over the country and we hardly see each other.....I met my uncle for the first time at 27 years old! It happens for all sorts of reasons and people who don't know particulars can't make judgements. Family dynamics is tricky and hard to figure out sometimes. Good for you for even talking about your feelings and relishing the time with your sister! I know that you could get a million good comments and then just one snarky one and it's that one that will stick........just know that there are so many more people that think you're cool and agree with you :)
Eu entendo você,Siga em frente,esqueça esse cara.Curta sua irmã,nada é mais importante que a família.Tenho irmãos que moram longe e que nos vemos pouco,e eu paro tudo quando eles chegam,e fico chorando quando se vão.choro agora por você e por mim, tem quatro anos que não vejo um irmão que mora mais longe que os outros,que eu não tenho condições de ir e ele de vir...Até telefone é muito caro por que queremos falar com todos e de tudo.Meu irmão tem cinco filhas e um casal de netos,uma família linda.Ai meu Deus me estendi...Desculpe.Quero que me prometa que ficará bem e que vai curtir muito seus irmãos mesmo a distância,Fique com DEUS e que ELE te abençoe muiiiito.Um beijo no coração,talentosa AMIGA.
don't let someone else's bad mood upset you....hand in there kiddo
I can't believe how free people feel about posting things like that!! My mom and I hadn't seen each other in 16 years before we were "re-united"...it happens, life gets messy sometimes. I'm glad you got to spend the time with her and just enjoy each other!!! We miss you in blogland :o)
Ah, Rachel. You feel the hurt because you are a good person. Don't change that ever. It's the one unhappy person who chose to take their own problems out on you, who should be be in a funk.
Hugs to Miss Rachel, I love your blog, tutorials, well and really just everything I know about u - so sorry someone was so mean. We all love you and hope your funk passes soon :)
Well, that person needs to be more mindful of what they are saying...(and i think maybe in emails to others, i too have been guilty of saying something totally innocent that later was interpreted as being inappropriate or rude; however...), if that is the posting that is still up, the girl who travels across the world to be with her family, obviously has different "circumstances"; travelling to be with family is SO much more than having the money to travel. SO much more....(my family is in the UK and I am in Canada; we have internet and Sykpe but that doesn't mean we talk every day....)
Open your windows, turn the music up loud and scream and shout the funk out. we all love you and your blogging. :)
Le sigh. I can't believe someone took such a happy, beautiful moment you had and turned it sour. Turn the other cheek. No one knows your situation, and no matter what the reasoning was behind you two being out of touch for so long, that was the PAST. Not everyone's family is perfect. I don't even know you and it upsets me so much to know you've been judged and made to feel bad! Don't let it get you down, what happens from this point forward is what's important. I hope you find peace with it all and can look back on your time with her as fun and happy, not tarnished by this ignorant comment.
I'm sure it's hard to ignore negative comments. Don't let that person win (I hope they have been reading all these lovely comments). I haven't seen one of my brothers in 27 years and have only heard from him once. I am happy to hear about and participate in the lives of my other siblings.
I have missed your blog because I enjoy your sparkly personality that comes across even when its in writing. And I LOVE your quilts.
Now, go make something pretty for yourself!
Most every family puts the 'fun' in dys'fun'ctional. If anyone says different, they're delusional. Don't go giving the hater the power to change your life. Don't mind her and we'll all get back to the business and working on the happy part.
Been missing you in bloggy land! So glad that you and your sister had such a good time together!!! So sorry one of your readers hurt your feelings. I, for one, am delighted that you are back!
Hey Rachel...you are a blessing to so many people. I absolutely understand how you're feeling. I've been in this situation myself where you put your heart and soul out for the world...and that one bad apple comes along...and poof...all the great things you've received are shatter because of one person's idiotic behavior. It's OK. Be in your funk. Hurt. Cry. Be mad. But then work on getting over the hump. It's up to you to not let them steal that special gift you have. Don't let them win. But for now, let yourself feel what you need to feel to get over it. Feelings are neither right, or wrong, they just are....it's what we do with them that counts. You have it in you girl! You'll work this out and come back even stronger. But don't close your heart because of an ignorant person. There are so many people out here that love you and love what you bring! So I'm sending you a big ((((HUG))) and know that here in Iowa we think you're pretty darn awesome! xoxo
I haven't read all the comments but I would venture to guess most all of them agree in some way with my thoughts. As my mother always told me, and I always told my kids, CONSIDER THE SOURCE! Also, that the people hardest to like/love are the ones who need it the most. Sounds like she needs a LOT of love.
Seriously, people with negative comments and some sort of perfect life that they think we all are able to live need to keep quiet and let us all get on with life. We are all trying our best to do our best at doing that. You are, I am, most people I know are also trying our hardest to be the best we can be.
I am thrilled for you that you got to spend time with your sister. Not all of us live in some insular little town where we see our relatives on a regular basis... AND no, it isn't always that easy to 'just buy a plane ticket'... I know... My grandchildren live on both coasts. I am in Colorado and am thrilled when I get to see them. Am I a bad G'ma because I don't just hop on a plane and go see them all the time. One would hope not.
Ignore her, delete her from your list that sends her your blog and let her read her sister's blog instead. Hugs and love to you! I think you are terrific! ...AND I hope you are feeling better after all the bloggy love that has been sent your way. Keep those wonderful blogs coming! We love you!
Normally I would read this go hum and move on but thought maybe today I would leave a comment since my whole life has been a funk as of late. Maybe they just thought it was sad you hadn't seen your sister in that long. Yeah sure a plane ticket is easy enough to buy if you have the resources, currently I don't and probably haven't for the last 4 years or so. Just ignore the yuckies that's what I say. I can't wait to see some new pretty things from you Rachel. Shake it off, that's what I'm trying to do with my funk.
I'm glad you're back... the nasty commenter bug must be going around. Hope you shake it now!!
I am so sorry would burden you with such stuff. I am in awe of quilters who have kids, cook, clean, read stories to their kids, blog and make quilts too!!!!!
I think one bad jelly bean does not contaminate the rest of us.
You know I had not seen my Brother in five years and it was because our lives just did not allow us time/$ etc. I cry that someone would say that. You know you do not know what goes on in anothers life if you are not there walking in their shoes! I am sad that you are sad! I know when we left my Brother's house last summer I was way in a funk and I still had a two day trip to get home! am glad you are back and I feel your pain (even if they are different they are still similar! (: )
I have been reading your blog for over a year and i just love it. Some people just can't keep their crappy thoughts to themselves especially when they don't know the reasons why.
I have a dear friend who is like a sister (since I don't have one) and we haven't seen each other in ten years because I am not well enough to travel. So just ignore her she must be one sad person.
I enjoy your blogs and eagerly read them as they are fun and inspirational. But I don't usually comment. You moved me enough to set finger to keyboard to let you know how much you and your blogging means to us, your fans. I'm so sorry someone was so rude to you. Nothing to do with them what you do or don't do. They're not the boss of you! I realize it hurt you and I hope you will heal faster now, knowing how many of us are so happy you are back. Yeah! Besides you got to have happy times to share with your sister. What a lovely DH to do that for you.Don't let one bad apple spoil it for the rest of us who love you.
Screw em'!!!... My dad died 6 yrs ago... Haven't seen my sister since then. before that... 11 yrs had gone by and hadn't seen her...Life happens... I totally know what your going thru! Just consider the source and don't worry about their comments... They just may be screwed up and you may not know it.
Rachel,
Thanks for sharing about your reunion! I was very excited to read your posting that you and your sister were able to get together. What a wonderful surprise - and a special time. Never mind what that person wrote...people can be so rude sometimes...and not even realize what they are saying. Take care - and keep blogging! You're awesome!!!
I am so sorry Rachel. Some people are so miserable they have to try and send it around to the rest of the world. Hold your happy memories and Chose Joy!
I'm sorry that someone felt the need to screw up your joy. My sister died two years ago, at 40. Enjoy whatever time you are able to spend together. What a sweet husband to arrange your get together.
Please do not give that ridiculous comment anymore thought or energy. Whoever posted that is an idiot. You are such a caring and sweet person, your personality shines through. Thank you for being you and sharing your talents with us in blogland. Happy St. Patrick's Day!
If that person feels it is "just buying a ticket" I say fine then buy it for me and I will say thank you very much.
I have family from CA to ME. I can buy the ticket, but not afford the rental car, and ALL of the expenses that go with TAKING A TRIP. I would sure apprecate it if that person pay for the additional expenses that come along with traveling to another state.
I too have family that I have not seen in many years. Sadly that is what happens when we are spread out.
Dont let comments from rude people effect your good mood, they are not worth the effort.
Do not let that negative person turn you into something that you are not! There are far more of us that luv you and appreciate you sharing your experiences with us.
I think it must be hard not to see your sister no matter what the circumstances. Sending waves of positivity your way Rachel-feel better soon!!! <3
Folks have already said this, but don't let the "lowest common denominator" get you down. My grandmother used to have a saying for people like that, and to this day, it makes me laugh. And think. She said, "What can you expect from a pig but a grunt."
I sure never wanted to be THAT person.
Thanks for sharing and thanks for your blog. I love seeing what you create. Your blog is very inspiring to me. I hope you keep creating and sharing what you create. Thanks!
Rachel, we all have something in our lives we regret Perhaps this person will regret not re_ reading her comments before posting. What is easy for one may be not so easy or convenient for another. The older I have become, the more important any time spent with my sister a great ti, and the more likely and sooner the 2 you will be together again. that my hope for you and your sister
Rachel just remember your sister is always with you! You have the memories of the past to relive whenever you want too. And now you have the most recent visit to remember. I am so glad your visit was so wonderful. Trust me there will be more in the future...
As for the poster who just had to type those words....well, "When you know better you do better." Thanks to Maya Angelou for that quote. That poster is to be pitied, she just doesn't know better. Say a prayer for her and let it go.
I think one of the problems with the internet, is that people use the anonymity to be needlessly cruel. I've had some hateful comments left on my dog blog that have made me come so close to quitting the blog scene ... but then, that's giving in to bullies.
I re-read the post about your sister's visit. Not only am I so happy for the two of you on your reunion, but WOW, is your husband a sweetheart! What an incredible surprise and an awesome thing for him to do for you!!!
I'm a constant reader of your blog and just love it. Had to put my two cents in. Illegitimi non carborundum. :)
KZK
http://bagsbykzk.blogspot.com/
Don't let one negative Nellie spoil the wonderful time you had. It won't be 15 years again before you see her. Life is. Your relationship will only grow now that you are both older and can make your own decisions about spending time together or on the phone, email, etc. I don't know why there are such crappy people in this world, but we just have to ignore them and their pathetic comments. Hugs.
I'm sorry - obviously that person is a direct descendent of June Cleaver and cannot understand less than perfect family dynamics. Please don't let it get you down - just be glad that you've made contact with her again.
I hope your day is improving. Sometimes people feel they have the right to make other people feel bad. All families are not equal. We have our own reasons for dealing with our family in the way we do. No one else has the right to tell us whether we are doing it right or wrong. Don't let them get to you. Some people just don't have any common sense dealing with others.
Rachel, don't let the mean people of this world bring you down. Your sister is a part of your life and that is what is most important, it does not matter how often you see her, just that she is there..Life is too short for people to steal your joy! I am glad you are back in the blog world, I have missed ya!
Hey glad to see you back, and yes I do look daily and check in on you. I haven't seen my sibblings in more than 23 years wait more like 29 years to be exact! Thats my decision and I guess theirs too. Life goes on and lifes are busy and some chose just not to speak, but that's no one's prob but ours. You share parts of your life with us and people should just be grateful for that or just not read your blog! You are sensative, happy and enjoy sharing with others. Don't let that person get you down, they won't know that your bugged by them (unless they are still reading this, and if so should get the feeling that they are not really liked right about now)so don't give them a second thought.
Your a wonderful person keep up your talents we enjoy reading everyone of them.
Hugs,
Vicki R
sunraesban@yahoo.com
Hey glad to see you back, and yes I do look daily and check in on you. I haven't seen my sibblings in more than 23 years wait more like 29 years to be exact! Thats my decision and I guess theirs too. Life goes on and lifes are busy and some chose just not to speak, but that's no one's prob but ours. You share parts of your life with us and people should just be grateful for that or just not read your blog! You are sensative, happy and enjoy sharing with others. Don't let that person get you down, they won't know that your bugged by them (unless they are still reading this, and if so should get the feeling that they are not really liked right about now)so don't give them a second thought.
Your a wonderful person keep up your talents we enjoy reading everyone of them.
Hugs,
Vicki R
sunraesban@yahoo.com
My observation is the same as several have already posted: the person who posted that snarky comment is probably a very unhappy lonely person.
those are the ones that usually spread their unhappiness at every turn. they suck the oxygene out of a room if you and i let 'em. i don't let 'em anymore. you shouldn't either. :)
p.s. i love the picture...beautiful. ;p
It stinks when someone ruins your happiness with their remarks. I hope it didn't take away from the fun you had with your sister.
My sister lives half way around the world and sometimes it is a very very long time between visits, so I understand how important this time was for the 2 of you.
Try not to let their comments keep you down.
The rest of us are very happy for you and that's the way it should be!
i am really pleased you got to see your sister and the visit was great! Don't let anyones comments take that precious time and memories away from you.
I cannot believe someone would say that! I'm so sorry! Take a deep breath!!! <3
don't let the trolls get you down! there are people out there with nothing better to do than put people down on the internet. people will say anything under the cloak of anonymity, but don't let their negativity and mean spirit keep you from doing something you love! I love your blog - it is in my "favorites" list. keep doing what you're doing, and pay no heed to the jerks!
I have a half sister I have never seen. I am forty-one. you aren't nearly as bad as I must be!
Chin up, stick your tongue out, and give whoever it was a big ole raspberry!
So sorry that someone put you in that funk!! Please know that there were many of us out in cyber land that missed you when you were gone (but were happy to know you were spending time with your sister.) I love reading about your quilting, projects, recipes, FAMILY and whatever else you may decide to blog about. Blogging is not easy work...especially to get so good that you have as many followers as you do! If you enjoy blogging, please don't stop. I would miss you! It's easier said then done, but don't listen to those negative Nancys out there. If they don't like what you have to say, they don't have to read it!
Hope you have a great day... maybe go out for a Phoebe run later ;)
Rachel, so sorry that a couple of insensitive people can make you feel that way. Glad you are out of your funk though because you are such a neat person and your blog is awesome. I look forward to every post from you and your are truly an inspiration. I am eagerly awaiting your next post.
I am so sorry to hear that harsh things were said to you on your blog! Thank you for sharing your heart, your life, your quilting.... you inspire me. And, for what it's worth, I understand family things... the richness, the depth, the challenges, the hurts and the triumphs... and the situations that can make for painful seasons as we are growing up. I get it. I was so thankful for your time with your sister - what a gift - your post in February brought tears... thank you for sharing that with us. I know that you will be able to forgive and forget what that person said, knowing they don't know the whole story and with the breath of kindness blow it away and treasure the precious memories you got to make with your sister! I am sorry for the funk it put you in and the hurt it caused. I enjoy reading your blog - you rock.
I hate that you were upset. Hate it! The only way I know to erase being upset is with hugs. So (((HUGS)))!!! xo
I see that you have received a number of comments about this post. I want to add one more. I'm really sorry that this happened. Some people are so rude, insensitive and WEIRD. It would never occur to me to say something like that to anyone. Not my business. I haven't seen my brother in almost 10 years and it crushes me every time I think about it; but life and money (or the lack of it) have a way of dictating their own terms, which usually mean that the desires of our heart are put on hold for a while longer.
You have a lot of support from strangers who love your blog and care about you. I hope and pray that you can gather strength from us and not allow the insensitive 1% to dominate and crush you.
Take care. :)
Sorry that you had to deal with that! Well, you are an inspiration to me (and many others!) Hope you feel better soon!!
That really makes me sad that someone would say that to you. and it really hit home. In the past 10 years I have seen my oldest brother 3 times. He even missed my wedding as did my brother just older than me. Its not an easy thing not getting to see your family whenever you feel like it. And yes it is easy to buy a plane ticket. but tickects to iraq not really in the budget. and when they aren't there life and kids and your family always seem to have something going on. I am so sorry that someone judged you like that. Just know that you aren't the only one who misses their family...
That really makes me sad that someone would say that to you. and it really hit home. In the past 10 years I have seen my oldest brother 3 times. He even missed my wedding as did my brother just older than me. Its not an easy thing not getting to see your family whenever you feel like it. And yes it is easy to buy a plane ticket. but tickects to iraq not really in the budget. and when they aren't there life and kids and your family always seem to have something going on. I am so sorry that someone judged you like that. Just know that you aren't the only one who misses their family...
Ack!! I'm sure most of the commenters above me have said the same that I'm about to say. The person who made the rude comment must live in a world unlike yours and mine.
My particular world comes with real financial issues, real time constraints, real emotions that unfortunately due to some of the above take on a life of their own, and a whole host of other 'controllables' that seem to require immediate resolution. Stuff happens.....the important thing is that you were able to get together with your sister and spend some time.
I'm the youngest of 7 children with a 16 year age gap. My sister has left the world - and because of that happening most of my siblings have made a special effort to stay close. That being said if it weren't for the fact that my brother living in Spain can afford to come and visit us on a regular basis and a few of us are fortunate to be able to go there, well we'd be facing the same.
Take care and let it roll off your back!! Love as much as you can when you can who you can and how you can. If it's out there somewhere the person at the other end will feel it.
A great big {{hug}} to you Rachel. So glad that you and your sister had a wonderful time together. :o)
Sincerely, Trish
Scanning through the messages before me it looks like you've got the hugs that should be coming your way. Add me to the list. Everyone's family is different and while you share some with your readers it is none of our business to know every detail as to why.
I hope you have more joy that came from seeing your sis and hope you have more of that rather than someone beating you up about it.
Isn't life hard enough without mean people making it harder?
I'm glad you are letting this go and you see how many more comments you have that are supportive. That is how I think about the world......most people are wonderful and kind don't let this one mean spirited person get you down.
Don't give her that power.
Big Quilty hugs and
Happy sewing
Having lived in a family myself, I know the relationships therein are gnarly, complicated affairs. My family put the "d" in dysfunction. So 15 years does not seem like such a big deal to me. Remember, we all do the best we can. Hey, at least you spent time with her in the present and that is what counts.
I'm so far behind on my blog reading but had to comment. Some people amzaze me at how rude they are and how out of place to comment on such a thing. I am glad you had a great time with your sister while she was visiting. I'm glad you have put it behind you & moved on with your blogging. Don't waste your precious time worrying about such comments from rude people. You have lots of blog followers who are happy about your reunion with your sister & love following your blog. :)
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